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Old 11-10-2012, 12:50 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,677

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
This isn't what the OP was asking, but I was wondering if the label "play partner" has more positive connotations than "fuck buddy." (It sounds more sex-positive, anyway).
I wouldn't mind if the term "play partner" took on a broader definition, but my impression is that it is generally used in terms of kink (and does not always involved sex per se)

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
For me personally (I'm not quite vanilla, but I'm not really kinky either), I had such a wonderful experience having a "fuck buddy"-type relationship in my mid-20s that I can't imagine denying anyone the freedom to seek out that sort of thing. I suppose we were more friends-with-benefits because we did very much like each other as friends, but in truth we didn't have much in common as friends. We didn't have any reason or desire to hang out as friends. I went to his plays, he read my writing, we occasionally got together for sex. We never developed romantic feelings for one another, even though we were involved for almost 4 years.

He's the only past partner of mine (sexual or romantic) whom I keep in touch with and think of fondly. ...
That mirrors pretty well my relationship with the guy I chose as my first kiss and later my first sexual experience at ("PianoBoy" in my "Journey" blog). We were friends in a limited context - involving piano and theater - and got together occasionally for, initially kissing and petting, and later sex - but otherwise moved in separate circles. Our "pseudo"-relationship lasted for 5-6 years.

He's the closest thing to an "ex" that I have, even though we were never "together" or "in love"...I still think of him fondly, and am grateful for him "playing gently" with me for all those years as I was establishing my own sexual identity and relationship style - I think my positive experiences with him were very influential in my own development as a sexually-liberated confident strong sexy-girl.

Every few years I look him up and see what he's up to. Just last week I took MrS and Dude to a show he was hosting at a bar in a city not too far from where we live (MrS knows all about him and has met him a few times before, thinks he is a cool guy; Dude knows all about him as my "first" and has seen some of his performances on the internet)and we chatted and got re-acquainted between sets.

PS. PianoBoy is now "Married-With-Children" (who'd have ever thunk?)yet still the free-spirited freak I knew in high school...I am happy for him and glad to have seen him again.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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