Lately some of the people in our community have been ending some of their relationships for various reasons. I found myself having a problem with the choice of words being used to describe the change in their relationships.
They refer to it as “breaking up”. This is a very common phrase used by most people to announce the end of a romantic/intimate relationship.
For some reason this is really starting to bother me. It is as if the term “breaking up” refers to a complete stop in the relationship.
I like to believe that all relationships regardless of their nature consist of many layers and levels of connection. I also believe that they have many ways of communicating based on the depth of those relationships. I find it disturbing to label the change in communicative depth of a relationship to be deemed as breaking up. Just because you are no longer expressing your connection or love in a certain way (usually sexually in the type of relationships I am referring to) I don’t see it as “breaking” something but reshaping the manner in which it is expressed; the emphasis is removed from one depth or layer but remains in others. The entire relationship is not lost. The relationship has merely been reshaped to incorporate a healthy way for the participants to enjoy each other.
To say that removing one aspect of a relationship ends it is a sad concept to me. It is too limited and does not recognize the remaining value.
I would rather have a happy and healthy connection on a few levels than struggle to maintain a relationship on all levels or one in particular. I personally feel it is important to take joy and a sense of fulfillment from what is natural and un-forced in a relationship. Trying to maintain or obtain other layers would be draining and ultimately lead to a complete break down of the relationship and therefore might actually result in a “break up”.
That’s my vent for the day
Peace and Love