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Old 11-08-2012, 02:35 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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ON BEING HAPPY (SMALL UPDATE)

And the behavior lately that ensues in "happy" this week:

Some quiet time alone with DH at work and child at school. I enjoy silence. It is welcome, esp after last week with Abused Friend stories. I don't mind being supportive, but I also need time on my own "restore to balance."

Went out with a different friend (who is amused and tells me I'm all "den mom" to our circle of friends.) We are growing a friendship so it was nice to clock some time there.
I'm not the only den mom but yes, that is part of my personality. Even in college, it felt at times I was "den mom" to THAT group of friends. I take after my own mother -- over-responsible.

Over the years I learn to just LISTEN and let people figure it out on their own rather than assume responsibility for things not in my turf.
We went to a Whole Foods tasting/workshop thing and got to sample some interesting foods. Then when I took her home we had a nice long chat about life, the universe and everything. It's nice we're working on building our relatively new friendship.

Saw my parents, and it turned out fine
. For the 2nd time in a row I went in dreading it and I talked myself into a realistic zone with the mantra of "Expect little, forgive much" on the drive over and apart from minor annoyance from my mom about my hair the visit was fine. I steered away from election/political talk and kid was her boing boing self and the visit was relatively short -- about an hour because afternoon errands sucked up some time and then we had to get home to dinner. All things (adjusted attitude, short duration, avoid charged topics with patient dad) added up to "actually enjoyable!"
I always worry on some level about my mentally ill father having a cow, and then having to deal with talking him down from a panic attack while riding out my OWN building anxiety but so far he's been low key. I've dealt with dad cows before -- I actually deal with them fine. I can set my anxiety aside and deal with the crisis. I just don't like dealing with my OWN postponed ARGH when I get home and clearing out the hormone dump of "fight or flight" from my system for a few days after. It feels grody to me. Ugh.

I'm still not satisfied with mom about some points of his care but really? I'm not going to sue her for custody of him either. That goes back to not being over-responsible. He's her husband, she's the primary caregiver right now -- not me.

Still chipping away at chaos in the house, but enjoying having more space since we carted crap off to storage. Friend's coming tomorrow to help.
Having him help makes things MOVE forward even in baby steps. Yay. Laundry is the main challenge right now -- trying to launder and give stuff away the kid outgrew, we no longer use, etc. Fixing one side of the closet shelves would help so I have to get on that.

Looking forward to date with DH Friday night.
We have babysitting in place and now it is deciding where go for dinner/movie. I don't even care where. I just want to go eat somewhere that does NOT have a kiddie menu and watch a movie that is NOT rated "G."

Some of my volunteer work needs tending and falling a bit behind but I'm happy with it -- school, church, women's group. The pace is not demanding at all.

So basically I'm happy when my life problems are minor (water heater, plumber) and my relationships (friends and family and DH) are chugging along well, and volunteer work isn't in crisis mode.

I just don't like things going all crisis mode on me and I know which parts I can control and which parts I cannot and mostly I manage to arrange my life in such a way right now that I'm not experiencing crisis things of my own.

So I'm feeling successful -- in my own anxiety management. Go me!

Galagirl
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