I know. I know I have to live for me and my husband. It's hard. It's hard becoming close to someone and not being able to tell them that I have fallen in love with them. I've come home and told him about how much I want to be with her and how much I know he'd enjoy meeting her... but I can't approach her. She would reject me. She'd shame me. Tell my friends. They'd talk about me and shun me.
I know how it all plays out.