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Old 12-21-2009, 10:00 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
I wish people weren't so hung up on "judge not lest ye be judged". The kind of "judgment" that is being discussed on this forum is not biblical-style judgment. So far I haven't seen anyone here suggesting or endorsing that someone be stoned or excommunicated for their lifestyle choices.
Yeah. The "judgement" I see in discussion involves that of "there are many ways to do this and I find this one works best for these reasons." That, however, is not a judgement on the people doing things in a different fashion. Indeed, for me--and I imagine for most folks here--if what any particular person is doing is working for them, I'm all for them continuing to do that until it quits working for them.

Comparison and contrast of different approaches provides information. It provides information on the variety of approaches people take to achieve the same ends. It provides added information for each to consider for when what they're doing isn't getting the results they want. It provides information that may have been missing when somebody decided to do what they do and now they can adjust to find something that works better.

I'd say it's a mistake to look at that sort of "judgement" dealing with ideas and view it as an attack on a person or an attempt to convert anybody to doing things differently. It's simply a way to share information--and the goal (for everyone, I hope)--is to help others find what works best for them.

I rail against the mis-use of terms so that we can know what in hell it is we're speaking of. That's not a judgement against the people who try to stretch terms to cover more ground than they should, it's commentary on the use of language and what works well and doesn't. Folks can still mis-use terms as they wish--it'll just result in muddled discussion.

And so on.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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