Originally Posted by alina
LDR with a poly really sucks
It only sucks if poly is forced on you without discussion beforehand, and you're expected to just bend over and take it any way he wants to give it.
Geez, hon, open your eyes and snap out of it! Stop pining for someone who has not been very respectful of you!
You've only been with this guy ten months which isn't that long, as someone else said. He has not demonstrated very much understanding of what poly is at all -- otherwise he would have been clear and truthful with you from the start, and made sure it was something you agree to before getting serious with you. One of the basics of polyamory is mutual CONSENT. That's not the same as "This is how I am but I didn't tell you in case you'd freak out and leave me, so now that you're totally hung up on me you gotta deal with me fucking other women without telling you." Basically he's using polyamory as an excuse to get away with whatever he can. Oops." So... why do you want to marry him?