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Old 11-07-2012, 08:53 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,640

Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
But we do get a lot of people who think polyamory is just about sleeping around, so I'm guessing that's why it triggered the moderation wrath?

Originally Posted by ladyslipper View Post
I think there are lots and lots of threads on this forum that go into semantics and that the semantics as they relate to "non-monogamy" are broad and broadly interpreted. Why suddenly shut down discussion?

There are also tons of threads on here that talk about the progression from one form of non-monogamy to another, i.e. polyamory.

I guess I didn't realize this forum was so narrowly focused. I've always enjoyed the breadth of topics and viewpoints to be found here...

That is precisely why a thread like that would be relevant and discussion would be beneficial.

Another reason that thread was good is because "swinging" and "friends with benefits" are NOT the same thing. Often, swinging LEADS to love and/or friendship, as we have seen in many people's stories on here.

The moderator could have moved it to the Fireplace if it was "off topic". I don't think the OP or anyone else who posted in it was trying to present swinging as a form of polyamory. And the moderator who moved it even says in his signature that people in poly relationships often do engage in FWB/casual sex relationships - even though those things are not "really poly", they are not "really swinging" either. "Swinging" is usually a structured recreational activity that often involves joining clubs and attending scheduled events, and often these clubs and organizations have rules that members are not supposed to socialize outside of the sanctioned club events. All these things are very "un-poly". But FWB and casual sex often DO involve love, emotion, and affection, just of the "friendly" type (instead of being "in love"). Also, "swinging" typically involves partcipation AS A COUPLE, while casual sex/FWB can be (and usually is) practiced on a one-to-one basis (not "monogamous" - just two people in a particular place and time).

I believe that there is considerable opportunity for overlap and relevance with and to polyamory, and that is why a thread like that should not be considered "off-topic" and shut down. It's really along the lines of treating people like children. Can we not have a discussion about something that affects people in polyamorous relationships, even though these "things" might not "be" poly in and of themselves? I could see if someone came on here INSISTING that swinging was a FORM of polyamory, and trying to get people riled up and arguing about it, but all it was was someone looking for other people's stories and experiences - AS poly people - with these variations of relationship styles.

Either that, or it could have been merged with one of the other threads about casual sex or sex with people you like as friends but aren't "in love" with. That is hardly what "swinging" is all about.
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