This thread is an outgrowth of the thread
that I would agree, was wrongly shut down. mmfox wanted to discuss friends with benefit arrangements, seems like a totally appropriate discussion for this forum. So, try again?
I think the issue has to do with attachment, jealousy and boundaries.
In Poly, I would say relationships need to be allowed to develop organically. I really identified with what is written at morethantwo.com - a relationship in itself is an entity all it's own, just like an individual.
As well, the old adage, "the best laid plans" comes to mind.
I think where Autumnal Tone got it wrong was in lumping FWB relationships with swinging. To me, swinging can be either with known partners or strangers and FWB would imply a friendship but not a "romantic relationship"...
Here are some previous, relevant threads:
"he wants to be in love"
play vs. partner, boundary equality?
"poly or swinging"
"What are Your Poly Guidelines and Boundaries"