I have gained mountains of knowledge, insight and perspective from these forums. I've also been able to speak to people privately about my situation who have had similar things happen to their relationships. I think the forums help me, because I don't feel alone with whatever is happening. If I am really going through it, or I am super pumped, I find others experiencing similar things here.
As far as privacy, has phpbb 3 been considered? I'm pretty sure it has a mechanism to keep all registered users and forums private. I can't pull any information on this other site searching google with my username and the url of the site.
On here, my profile pops up as number 3 on the google hit list. Icky.
One suggestion I have is to make viewing and posting in the forums require the viewer to be registered. Have unregistered forums for site intro and rules for posting, then make all registration, and registered forum info hidden from the websearch world.
Just a thought.
"You can't make a giant just by stretching out a dwarf. One person's beauty mark is another person's wart."