Need to get better at scheduling. It's a bit ad-hoc at the moment and while there've been no serious fuck-ups, some solid intentionality can't hurt.
Spent the night at Grotto's last night without planning to in advance, making it two nights in a row. I hadn't slept over at his for maybe a week before that. It had just happened that way, given my father being in town, but he'd felt the separation.
While we're cuddling, I got a text from Ocean. At the noise of the message coming through, Grotto says "your master's voice". Joking, yes, but it's that wry based-on-a-true-story humour. This was before I'd decided to stay the night (at that point I intended to head back to sleep with Ocean.) But I checked in with Ocean, who didn't mind if I stayed there, so I did.
I had a Skype date with my brother early morning, so I scooted away from Grotto's in time to slip into bed with Ocean for a bit before we needed to officially get up. Ocean e-mailed me later in the day: "I really like the early morning snugs on days to wake up from nights when you've crashed elsewhere
" He hardly ever requests anything of me unless I press him, so this is a rare insight and something I will definitely keep in mind!
I couldn't help fantasising about how things could work, if we ever ended up living together with Grotto and/or other partners...
But yes, scheduling. Not so much a strict timetable so much as checking in on what people's needs are, and whether we want to set any regular dates. We're pretty easy-going and tend to let things evolve. Though we're relating really well at the moment, I don't want to take it for granted.
Something Grotto, Ocean and I did a couple of years ago was a 'reading group'. Each week, the three of us picked a reading each (an article or chapter from a book or something) and we'd get together over dinner and discuss it. Now we're in the same city again, it would be sweet to re-establish the tradition. Ocean's keen. Will ask Grotto. Maybe Monday nights. Possibly Menrva/Bert could join... though that makes a lot of reading. And it was nice to hang out in our pod of three.
Funny, with the connections growing, each viable molecule still seems to need its own sustenance. It's not enough for the individual romantic dyads to have their fill separately and then the group dynamics sorted by everyone altogether on a big date.
Will end with a couple of sweet moments.
This morning, I was making porridge and coffee while Ocean was getting ready for work. Before he jumped into the shower he ran out to show me drawings that Menrva had done on his belly. A fish around his belly button, and some other doodles. Funnily enough, yesterday I'd drawn various sea creatures on Grotto (on his arms). I've never done this before (draw on someone with ballpoint pen) so the coincidence was cool. I added a bashful tentacle to Menrva's drawing and sent Ocean to work.
Last night, Grotto and I lay in bed snoozing and got to talking about relationships. He said he feels very committed to me, and I feel the same way. What this entails for the future, I have no idea.
"How are we gonna make this work?" I asked, half-dreamily.
Grotto cuddled me and said, "we are making this work." It put me to sleep like a lullaby.