Originally Posted by AudentesFortunaJuvat
When I look at what I wrote yesterday I'm completely disappointed in myself. I know I can be a better person than that. Everything nycindie said is very true. I have a lot of work to do on myself.
Don't be disappointed in yourself - beating yourself up will only reinforce the negative thinking. We do stupid things, say dumb shit, and punish ourselves - but the punishing part only keeps us stuck in the pattern of negative thinking and leads us to do all the dumb shit all over again. It's like after we've done our penance we think "Okay, I can start over and fuck up again."
Actually, you have lots to be happy about. You have this relationship with an exciting woman who turns you on, and have gained a lot of important insights about yourself in the process, which is a lot more than other folks do when they're in relationships. You seek out support with your friends in real life and braved coming here for feedback. I'd say you're a fucking success, so do NOT give in to the temptation of feeling like you should be different than who you are!
The past is dead, the future isn't here yet, all you got is NOW - make the best of the present moment!