View Single Post
  #15  
Old 11-06-2012, 05:47 PM
Chimera Chimera is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 66
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Coraline View Post

I have printed pages 5 and 6, and plan to go over them with the bf, though, inevitably, these conversations always lead me to feel silly since it always turns out there's nothing for me to worry about.
I've certainly been there, and that's true, but...

Don't feel silly because there may actually be something to what you're feeling.

Sometimes there's pressure on us not to validate our feelings because we don't want to be jealous, or seem controlling, etc. We want to seem like totally cool poly people who are fine with everything, and that may be allowing for serious issues to go unchecked. There are also folks who take advantage of that -- they try to make partners feel guilty in order to get what they want rather than negotiate.

I'm not saying that's what's going on in your situation (sounds like it isn't), but I'd say don't push down or ignore your petty/jealous feelings. Those feelings are telling us something -- maybe we have to do more work on ourselves, maybe it means there's a lack of clarity or communication with our partner/s, or maybe it means that there really is something going on that's not okay.

Good luck!
__________________
"Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within."James Baldwin
Reply With Quote