Originally Posted by nycindie
I think you are indulging in self-pity and melodrama for no reason. Shake it, man! For your own sake, you've got to snap out of it and wake up.
And? So what if there is? Why does that bother you so much? You want to own her? Own her time, her body, and be the focus of her life? Why so fixated on that?
Well, you gotta stop that. And realize that she may not be thinking of you every minute of every day because she is a well-rounded person with a full life and many interests. So what is your excuse? It isn't just other guys she is thinking about, I'm sure.
You have a choice to let go of your old societal conditioning and addictive neediness. It isn't her fault that you feel this way and it isn't the fact that you had sex with her. It is a pattern of thought process that you unconsciously engage in, so keep looking at this and stop it before it takes hold. Become aware and you have more choices. You don't have to feel as tortured as you do, but it's up to you to get yourself free of it. That is why waking up and examining where these thoughts and feelings are coming from is so important.
More melodrama. Nothing, no one, an empty life when she's not around. And whose fault is that? This is worse than a sappy country song. Do you see how you are putting yourself through the wringer? Why? What do you get out of this pity party? Does suffering make you feel more alive?
No, not sick. But you do seem addicted to drama and struggle. And is it possible you are just trying to recreate the closeness you had in your marriage, which is making you get attached too soon and far too deeply?
Thank you for your reply. Yesterday was a really tough day and as you can see, that's who I become on days like that. No, I don't enjoy any of that, nor do I do it on purpose. I'm a very rational person, when I'm calm I see just how dumb I act, but when I get emotional I get like that. I'm working on that and if you can believe it, I used to be worse! LOL
I am very fortunate though, I have a close female friend that knows of everything with this woman and we talked and she pretty much told the exact same things you did. Eerily the same! I appreciate all of your honesty.