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Old 11-06-2012, 07:05 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,871
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Thanks for the clarify.

So your husband said ok but when you did turns out he was not ok like he thought. He either gave a false ok expecting you not to actually go there or he thought he could handle it and found he could not.

So this trial separation is being planned so the spouses can soul search to see if the spouses want to decide to try to return to previous, reconfigure and rebuild, or just break up amicably?

Look, if you want more dates with GF, ask her out. Plain and simple. Stop overthinking it. She can say "No" or she can say "Yes." You are no exclusive right now, so date other people too. Allow yourself the experiences in your trial separation like:
  • some times totally alone. Without GF or husband or anyone around.
  • some times with the steady GF person who is NOT a spouse person
  • some times with new people that change around, casual dates, NOT sex
  • some times with spouse even -- date him. Not just sleep with him, but see if he wants to try a date.
  • some new travels, hobbies, classes. Be the new, evolving YOU that is.

If the goal is to try things on and soul search how it all feels... get on with it. Try things on in a calm, measured pace with break in between each experience "bubble" to digest it. Maybe keep a journal to see how your feelings grow/change over time?

Then at whatever checkpoint of trial separation time you and spouse have agreed to, you have taken notes you can reflect on to help you guide yourself to whatever decision you need to come to on the marriage.

Galagirl
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