View Single Post
Old 11-04-2012, 07:58 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,917

That would be a compromise for sure. I would say that being able to talk about it and not act on it might still be very hard, but it would be a start.
Then you can ask her if that is a possible "soft limit." A soft limit is one that could change in time.

If she's thinking ""NO!" from a fear place but willing to step just to there there for X amount of time and then reassess at another checkpoint to see how it feels in then, perhaps it's worth it to try.

If she's thinking "NO way EVER!" right now and it is actually a hard limit, better she state that now. No amount of time would change it.

But since you are the one wanting changes, bring her various options when you try to discuss/negotiate that are at least palatable on your end. Give her places to go so there's options besides "pass/fail" there in that negotiation meeting. Does SHE have ideas? Hear them out.

Assess her willingness, but once assessed, respect where her willingness line lies. Then see if that line is something YOU are willing to roll with or not as you compare it to your own willingness assessment.

If neither are willing to find common middle ground, perhaps you can find common ground in both wanting a clean, quick, peaceful split.

Hang in there! I know it's hard to feel.

Reply With Quote