monogamous or just insecure?
I am having a really tough time with all of this and really confused about my feelings on the matter...let me start off by saying that polyamory scares and intrigues me, it's something that is different and exciting and new but also something that means confronting long since established demons, and having the person you love and have put so much energy into whispering sweet nothings into another's ear, constantly wondering if you are just "the back up plan" or the "sure thing"
As far as I have heard, once you overcome the insecurity polyamory is something that is easily (or atleast possible to) accomplish and is very fulfilling..i mean this all sounds great in theory, who doesn't want to vanquish insecurity and live a life with multiple loves? But where is the line between something that makes you a little uncomfortable and something that is just not a part of who you are?
I am wracking my brain trying to define all this and I am curious as to how others (poly or mono) found they could or just could not. As to how all this applies to me, I would very much like to have both feminine and masculine energy sexually and otherwise in my life so it seems by default that poly would be the thing for me...but in practice, it makes me question the validity of our love/relationship and makes me feel like I am not good enough in my partner's eyes.
any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.