Ok. Here is another peeve of mine.
First - I am sorry for your pain, truly. Please don't think that I am not.
Its just that - You don't have to stop loving someone!! EVER!
I love sooo many people, it doesn't mean I am in relationships (in all the ways you can define relationships) with them all.
And love is something you give to someone... I firmly believe if you love someone you let them go. Love is not holding on, love is not suffering either...
If you need to for your family , you CAN let this woman go. You can still love her until the day you die, but you can also let her go.
Life isn't fair, love isn't fair, and we don't get either of them for long enough. Cherish what you have and sacrifice when you must.
That's my rant.
I hope is is more empowering than sad.