I think the OP is perhaps using the term OSO for zir metamour, which is where the confusion is stemming from.
By "sort of" quad I think that ze means more of a Diamond/Square as opposed to each of the four being romantically involved with the other three. I'm envisioning two original couples where each person has one primary and one secondary. SO - original couples A+B and C+D - secondary relationships A+C and B+D but NOT A+D or B+C. So OP (A) is having issues with zir metamour (D) who is seeing both zir primary (B) and zir secondary (C - who is D's primary).
PS. Sorry if the "gender-neutral" pronouns throw anyone off - D is female, unsure about the rest.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.
My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 11-04-2012 at 01:59 AM.