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Old 11-04-2012, 12:18 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,433

Thought I'd share some news.

The lawyer decided to send a letter to Raga so that there was proof that he knew about the divorce, etc. This way he would either send a birth certificate (which is what she asks in the letter) or there would be proof that he refused to do so, allowing us to bypass needing one more easily.

She did that back in September, and I'm currently in the US again (from October to January). She hasn't had a response so he seems he's going to ignore it. I haven't had news from him on my end of things either. I did send a written request to know if the divorce had been filed yet in Canada, which Raga said he did in December 2011, almost a year ago. Got a written statement that as of September 2012, nothing had been received. When I called in January, they told me they were already processing the December stuff, so I don't believe it's on a pile waiting still. I asked him about it back in September but didn't get a reply.

On to non-divorce stuff. Seamus's tentative GF said she wanted a relationship, but she wanted to be exclusive with him. As in, she expected him to leave me and be with just her. He told her that wasn't going to happen, since even if he was to break up with me (which he had no intention of doing) he would still be polyamorous and against the idea of being exclusive with her.

She seems to still be interested in him, but hoping he'll change his mind or something. They haven't gone on a date in months. She's very friendly to me despite having asked my boyfriend to dump me, which is weird. I like her fine, but as long as she wants something exclusive, it's just not going to happen, which is a shame.

On my side of things, There is that guy I've liked for a while, which I'll call T here (I can't remember what initial I've used for him, but he's the same that I might have mentioned in the past 6 months or so). Since being back in the US I've spent a lot of time around him, I see him 3 or 4 times a week, pretty much never alone, though.
Every so often, we just say hi and bye, but most days we spend a couple of hours together, playing games and the like, usually with Seamus, often with one or two other people.

About three weeks ago I asked him in private if he would like hanging out with me one on one, and he said "sure". I didn't plan anything at the time though, and since then haven't really had any free time to plan anything. A week later, so two weeks ago, I told him I liked him. He said I was making him uncomfortable, so I backed off.
Since then, he's been friendlier than ever, which confuses me. I don't know if he's interested but wants to slow down, or just uncomfortable with polyamory, or recently Seamus has been thinking that maybe he just doesn't really get it or something.

I see him often, I like him a lot, a he's super friendly and nice to me, so I'm happy about that. I'm just sometimes a bit... frustrated, I guess, that I don't know where I'm standing. But I also know that I have a tendency to go too fast and scare guys off, so I'm trying to keep it slow. If he's open to nonmonogamy, it shouldn't matter too much if he meets someone else in the meantime.

Sadly, since I'm leaving in January, I feel a bit pressured. I hate the idea that I'd finally manage to ask him out and then have to go straight away. But I guess we shall see. Plus right now it seems that we're just friends.

Anyway, that's what's new here.
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