Originally Posted by irina
. . . it seems like he's constantly swinging between making her happy and making me happy.
No, what he's doing is swinging back and forth trying to please two people who want him to make them happy. Big diff.
Happiness is an inside job, it isn't up to him to keep either one of you happy. You need to find that within yourself and bring it to your relationships, not the other way around. He cannot split himself in two. You think you need him, but that isn't the case. You need and want something
and have attached those needs to him. If I were you, I would start asking myself questions about what I expect and hope for and start seeing the reality of the situation, which is that he obviously cares about you and values his friendship with you. He also cares about and values his other friendship and, unfortunately for him, both women he cares abut are having tantrums, in their own way.
Now, how do you start taking care of yourself so that your relationship with him can be more easygoing and less fraught with dependence and expectation? Only you can figure that out.