I need some direction please
Im 32 around the Tacoma/Seattle area closer to Tacoma
So listen, I know that me asking questions like this or putting this post in the wrong spot is going to irritate some of you. Ive noticed that from what I have found here. But I need help! These types of forums make me feel retarded when I try and navigate them but they are a good place to connect with people that can help. I hope some of you helpful people read this...
Heres the story-I had been in a mono relationship for about a year and the f part decided to take a break all of a sudden and started seeing another m. All the while still seeing me and being intimate. I also started seeing anothe f during that time. We both knew that there were other people involved on the outside of our relationship. The girl I was seeing also knew but the f in this situations new man friend did not. This is when I discovered the actual meaning behind being a poly. I felt betrayed. I was always honest and open with everyone involved and even tried to discuss this lifestyle with my now non-mono partner. That did not go over well.
That relationship has since ended, on all fronts, and my heart will forever be broken but its time to move on. It was for the better and hope everyone involved will find happiness.
My problem comes into play here. That was the first experience I had in an open relationship and it just sort of happened w/o actually discovering what any of it meant. So again, Im lost. Ive tried OKC but had to stop due to unforseen circumstances with another person joining and harassing me. Ive joined meetup sites and groups. Ive searched Yahoo groups and even, regretably looked on CL. I have yet to find anything close to what Im looking for and its a little discouraging. Is my unicorn out there? Can I be someones unicorn?
All Im looking for is that love that was shared to fill my heart again. An honest, loving, creative, and open relationship. While Ive just recently started studying materials and reading about poly and I dont know all the lingo or types or definitions; from what Ive read it describes my situation and feelings exactly. Though this may sound like just a big mess to some of you I only have myself to blame for that for not articulating cleary enough.
If anyone can relate to this situation or "hold my hand" while I learn this process and its eccentricities please reach out to me. Ive talked to one person from here and they advised I reach out every day(thanks Taly)to talk to people, so thats what Im doing.
Thank you for your time and remember "every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around!"