So my wife and I decided to try swinging last year. Long story short that turned into an open marriage which turned into my wife saying "she's polyamorous".
Last year we decided that we'd try an open marriage(started with a little swinging, we decided that having FWBs was ok). Well, one of our friends fell on hard times and he moved in with us, at my suggestion. We wanted to help him out. Well I knew that my wife had a little crush on him but it blew up into hardcore mad "I'm in love with him". This was never a relationship that I agreed was ok. (I got drunk one night and told her she had a hall pass and they fooled around but he couldn't get it up[wtf]). I got super anxious and couldn't handle it. Eventually I basically gave her an ultimatum that this wasn't ok, and she had to cut it off. She did back away and then realized that she wasn't that into him and she started to get irritated whenever he was around.
Months later, we feel that we've got ourselves stable, decide to try open again. We have some threesomes with my friend, and they become FWBs. He moved away and we decided to open OKC accounts. Well, she eventually meets this guy she's totally into. I can't stand the idea of him as her lover. I can't find anyone that will even return my message that isn't totally not my type. So now she really wants a relationship with this guy and I feel forced into it. I have tried having things with other women and sexually they didn't work out. She's was my first and I just feel weird being with another.
She insists she's poly and I'm holding her back as a person. I don't know what to do.. I feel like she's forced poly on me yet we can't ever fathom divorcing. I don't know what to do. I can't get past the jealousy every time she's texting him. We fight about it daily now