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Old 11-02-2012, 12:35 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279

Originally Posted by wildgurl View Post
OK... I need advise...

I've been with my husband for almost 7 years...I love him with all of my heart and he loves me dearly as well....

before we married we were not really able to live together because I lived in the USA and he in Norway.... So, we spent a bit of time, me and my daughter, going back and forth.
anyway... 5 years ago, we married.... when we met... I told him that sex was VERY important to me....

anyway... after we married sex has gone down a LOT.... in fact it has been almost 2 years since we have had sex... or even slept in the same bed...
Red Flag #1

A decrease in sex is usually a sign of bigger problems.

Now... I LOVE and adore my husband... I just got sick of trying to initiate sex, and him rejecting me a LOT of the time.... so I started sleeping on the sofa.... and stopped bringing it up....
Red Flag #2

The flags sort of form a big canopy at this point.

Anyway... I am almost 46... and I'm pretty new to this country that I have immigrated to.... my new friends are all in their 20's and 30's.... yet, people NEVER assume my age, unless I tell them... they usually think I am around 30.... At first I did not look at other men.. as I am a loyal wife.. BUT, after not having sex for 2 years, and being hit on by younger men.... I am starting to think that maybe if we had an open relationship, that I would NOT have to carry this anger around of not having sex... YET, stay with the man I love....
I've always been a bit wild and kind of like having fun.... I'm also VERY thoughtful to my husband and he and I are GREAT friends.... we just don't have sex.....
This has broken me down quite a bit.... and NO MATTER what I have tried to get my husband to understand that this is killing our marriage.... he does NOT get it....
You basically already said the problem; you and your husband are great friends.

I have a lot of great friends that I love enough to be willing to die for but I'd never marry half of them.

I am lately thought that asking for an open marriage would be an idea....
Polyamory makes poor spackle.

At this point I would NOT really mind him being with another woman...
I doubt he'd be down with the idea, he doesn't sound like he has a high sex drive so its unlikely to be an issue for him or your problem wouldn't exist.

and if I dated... I would ONLY date younger men... ONLY for sex... NOT relationships...
I can basically promise you that will lead to more fighting.
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."
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