Is a lover anyone with whom any of us have a sexual relationship, or is it anyone with whom we have a loving relationship? Very vague word, that. But it needn't be, because it has the word love in it rather prominently (however you spell that, i'm too lazy at the moment to look it up). You seem to call anyone you have a sexual relationship with a "lover". But maybe you ought not to, since they are not all in your very tight-knit "circle of love", as I call anyone with whom I have a loverly relationship.
For me, generally, my "lovers" are those with whom I'm also being physically or sexually intimate. But i have room for exceptions, I suppose. I have a friend I've never met in person(!), who lives far, far away, that I love profoundly, and with whom I'm intensely intimate (on-line). He loves me, too, similarly, I think--I almost know. I have other friends not too far different in levels of intimacy and involvement in one another's lives. I'm simply not sure what a "lover" is, in a number of respects. Sex is so far from being the deciding factor. But this is all language talk. Terms mean what we mean them to mean, I suppose.
What matters is the love. Do you love your friends with whom you're also occasionally sharing a bed? If not, why are you sharing a bed? These are just questions. More words. What matters, I suppose, are the questions.
Last edited by River; 06-06-2009 at 09:11 PM.