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Old 10-31-2012, 10:51 PM
Numina Numina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 139
Default Wth??

So I've been crusin along if not all sparkles and happiness at least not depressed or angry, but it doesn't seem to take much to set me off. Why? and why something that might not seem like a big deal to anyone else?

Texting or instant messaging

Maybe there is a beginning and I can try to start there.
I've work for the same company for almost 9 years now. the past 6 years I have had a desk job and internet access. I work the graveyard shift. Get to work at 1am call Airyn to let him know I'm at work, then get online and chat via gmail's chat service. Airyn would stay up chatting with me till 2,3 sometime 4am.

Now Chipmunk lives with us, and Airyn is rarely actively on this chat we used to use. I wasn't letting it get to me for a while there, but a couple times he suggested he'd be on and then would send like one message, and I'd not hear another thing from him for the rest of my shift. I found this frustrating. I'm sure I said something about it at least once, I know I told him not to offer to be on the chat service when he's not going to actually be there.

So over the past three months 85% of the time he's not on. Occasionally he's on long enough to send me a message or two, but not for any actual conversation. Once or twice he has actually been online and actively chatting with me. This is one of the things I really miss.

Anyway, he usually just disappears, doesn't say he's going to bed, or good night, or see you in a few hours nothing. He used to tell me he was going to sleep. He just stops responding to my messages. I've just kind of blown this off. I know I haven't said anything to him, but maybe once. Like it would be nice to know your going to bed so I'm not still messaging you and waiting for your response. But not like it was a big deal.

So Tuesday morning Chipmunk has to be to work before I get home. Airyn walks her to work, and is in bed falling back to sleep when I come home and take our kid to school. I get about a 2 hour nap, but knowing Airyn hadn't slept much let him sleep till about noonish. Wake him up for a "happy morning". For him, not me. It's just something I enjoy. Anyway, we cuddle for a moment then he's leaning across the bed and Messaging Chipmunk, "I'm awake now". I didn't say anything, but after that I no longer had any interest in cuddling nor was I expecting any more sexy time with him.

A few mins later we are both dressed, and Airyn is talking about his Photography assignment. He sets up the scene he wants, and uses me as a model. all you can actually see is my rear end, and legs. What ever. the image turns out nice for the assignment, somewhat bizarre, but good.

Then we pick Chipmunk up, and he's telling me about a scene he wants to do with her as the model, covered in her stuffed animals wearing an old top I got from my mom. It sounds cool. We get home and he sets up a completely different scene. Tell chipmunk that he needs her to get in the shower and get her hair wet, she wants him to join her. I give my blessing. He gets out and makes a comment about the two of us girls being needy, and demanding. He's referring to sexy times. I tell him he can't really say that about me considering this morning, unless he thinks waking up at noon is demanding. He just giggles, and goes to finish setting up this new scene for Chipmunk.

It's rather sexy especially compared to what he asked me to do, or what he said he was going to do with Chipmunk. After getting several pictures, he starts putting the room back in order. I offer to take over and finish. While checking out the images he see that they are not in focus and he has to redo the scene. So I'm trying to help him put it back together and he's getting sharp with me till i finally toss something he's looking for at his feet and start to walk out. He acts all shocked by this and All I tell him is that I had been trying to help him out, nothing more.

He get chipmunk naked again and in place. These image turn out good, and he posts them to facebook. He also adds these images to his deviant art account. The one of Chipmunk gets a "Can we feature your image" request. It's a good photo, but he leaves his deviant art page up, and tells me I can use my computer again. I briefly scroll the page, and tell him I have no idea why I'm looking at his deviant art sight he just laughs and tell me he forgot to switch back to my pages.

I'm not happy at this point. I've noticed something, but can't figure out what it is that is making me grumpy. So I head off to the bedroom for some ME time. Airyn comes in a apologize for getting snippy at me while resetting up his scene, I accept, but don't say much.

Today I'm expecting to work. This was supposed to be my vacation week, but I was asked to come in for a couple days to cover my boss since he was pulled to another building. I get ready, and Airyn walks me to the car (we always do this). While talking at the car he tells me that taking a nap that day he's not feeling very sleepy, and will probably be up lateish. I call him from work just after 1am. Tell him I'm getting logged in and I'll see him in the chat. He says that they are still in the kitchen, and he doesn't know when they will be going to bed.

Ok So I'm getting my work PC's set up, and getting the websites I use logged in, including gmail, and my boss walks in the door. This is about 5 mins after I hang up with Airyn. I laugh and say so I can go home now, and then start getting my things together to leave.

Knowing that Airyn and Chipmunk are expecting to have the evening to themselves, and that Chipmunk doesn't have to work the next morning I send a gmail message letting Airyn know that my boss came in, and sent me home. That I'll be home in 30ish mins.

I get home (1:45), and know right away (from the closed bedroom windows) that they are in the bedroom. I'm assuming that they are ahh busy, so I take my time. I don't want to interrupt, and since Airyn was telling me he was going to stay up late I figure he'll check his gmail after. I send him a message after what I think is a reasonable time, thinking that he'll hear the "new Message" beep, no response. So I wait a little longer, then Message Chipmunks phone knowing how she always has it with her in bed. But not tonight. I hear her phone get my message, and see that it is in the kitchen window.

During this time I have plugged in headphone, and I'm listening to load music and reading these forums. A blog that I enjoy. Right around 2ish someone was in the bathroom I saw the light go out. I know that this doesn't mean that they are done necessarily, so I was still feeling like I needed to give them time. Alright so now it's 2:30 and I call the house phone from my cell. Hoping that it will ring in the bedroom. It does, and Airyn answers. I tell him to check his gmail. he's really confused, saying he was asleep. I tell him nevermind hang up the phone, and go to open the door. It's locked. back to the kitchen for the key, unlock door, enter room to confused Airyn.

I thought you were at work, I thought you would check your gmail at least once after I called since you were planning to stay up late. Nevermind, I'm really tire from lack of sleep the previous day. Well come to bed then. in bed, not falling asleep. WHY AM I MAD?

neither of us could have know that I would get the day off.

So I get up and take Wolf to school, back into bed, and can't fall back to sleep. The sleep I did get seems to have cleared my thought some and I'm starting to GET it. Airyns alarm for their class goes off after about 30mins of me being back in bed. Up we get and ready for the day.

In the kitchen I'm heating up my pasta from my lunch and Airyn is telling me he was really confused when I called and that I hung up on him. I tell him that the door was lock, but i hung up because I was about to walk into the room. Then I lay it out for him.

WTH? How is it that you never tell me your going to be that your no longer up and able to chat with me WHEN you do send me messages, but before you even get out of bed you can message Chipmunk to tell her you up? WTF? I'm obviously pissed. Turn my back and don't say anything else about it. He doesn't either. I have yet to say anything about how he hasn't taken a "GOOD" picture of me since chipmunk moved in. How all the sensual photos he took of the two of us the ones he thought of as "good" we her's that even the portraits that he posts to his deviant art page he hasn't had me in any of them. In three months the only "GOOD" pic he has taken of me was the one that you can't tell who is in the photo.

Airyn has told me that he is very picky about what he post to deviant art that the photos have to be really GOOD or he doesn't bother. So 20 years together, and a 5 month old relationship he's suddenly unable to get a picture of me he considers good? And he has not looking at me as a model for his sexy pictures any more? WTH?

WTH, WTF?

And he wonders why I don't feel wanted, sexy, desirable.
__________________
Bi-sexual female

Married to my high school sweat heart (20 year relationship). Talked about Poly, but put the idea off and had a kid instead. Stumbled into an FFM (Vee) that became an FMF (Vee).

No longer dateing my husbands Girlfriend.

Airyn: My husband (Straight)
Chipmunk: My x-GF, My husbands GF (Straight)
Wolf: my Daughter with Airyn
Boots: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
History: Social/Friend dating (Bi) Married
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