Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
On the other hand-if I just cancel, I'm allowing her communication through him to work and I'm also allowing her to isolate me from the community....
You've already solved this one, but for the future always remember this:
There are certain people / groups [police, judges...] who have certain power over us whatever we do. But even with them - and ESPECIALLY with others [who DON'T have this legally-constituted right to interfere] the DEGREE to which they have power over us depends largely on how much power we ALLOW them to have over us.
If she's implied that you should back out because she wants to be there, and you walk in and socialise, show that you're having a great time, and act like you don't give a FUCK whether she's there or not... then YOU've won, Lady!
[Anarchism has a very bad rep over there in the USA (worse than Communism). But the bottom line of Anarchism is basically this: "I will not allow anybody to walk all over me... and I refuse to walk all over anybody else". It's not about guys in black capes hiding bombs: it's the most respectful policital ideal of all. (Of course, there are some louts who CALL themselves anarchists who haven't got a clue what it's really about and give the rest of us a bad name. For the record, anybody who calls themself anarchist and is down on polyamory has got their head up their arse.)]
Have a great time!
) and let her