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Old 10-30-2012, 07:13 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,029
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Alright -- here's my playbook. Those are the standards I want in polyship along with my limits of tolerance for shenanigans. That's how I prefer to roll.

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- getting STD tested before moving in
This is just basic hygiene for yourself. (and partner's do it for themselves. To me that falls under "responsible for caring for your own equipment" in my universe. )

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- rules about keeping house
- keys?
- food preparation
- sharing clothes?
- bathroom rules?
I would file all that as "clear communication" for how the household is to run. Everyone know and state your wants, needs, and limits in regards to shared living space. Everyone step up to be responsible for SOMETHING in the running of the home.

This stuff is basically being a good roomie. Nothing to do with polyamory -- more about cohabitating. Like basic manners/chore list stuff so the home runs well. Also respecting other people's property and what can be borrowed or not. (clothes, books, cds, etc)

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- going out alone?
- going out together? (holding hands in public? etc)
This seems to speak to polyconfiguration. Are you "Out" or not, are you an "Open" triad or a "Closed" triad, and the polymath of this triad so each tier of mini relationships INSIDE the larger one has time/space for expression.

I would file that under "clear communication" also. Everyone state your clear wants, needs, limits. Come to agreement on time management, emotional management issues.

I wouldn't get all micromanage-y. Each tier needs it's own privacy and freedom to develop as it does. But if you are not "Out" I could see the polyship people coming to agreement about public displays of affection at the work place or whatever. Talk to your people about where their preferences and needs lie.

And agree to a conflict resolution method you all can deal with should something pop up.

Largely it is going to be taking the temperature where everyone is at, agreeing to try THIS way for THIS amount of time, see how it works, then evaluate at THIS checkpoint to see how that feels to everyone involved so far. See what you keep, what gets adjusted for the next hunk of time til the next checkpoint.

HTH!
Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-30-2012 at 07:18 PM.
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