Since you can't separate the action from the consequences,
What makes you think I don't get it. You realize I've lived this right? My wife came to me and wanted to open up our marriage too so it's not like I don't have a frame of reference on this. I got the happy wife talk.
I get the team talk too when it comes to switching careers or things central to the team. But an example of how the team "think" can be be skewed to one partner would be in regards to dangerous or expensive hobbies. I think one could argue it starts out as being about the person. If I wanted become a professional golfer or a formula one race car driver in my spare time those decisions or "wants" start with me. My spouse or partner might not have any idea of the wonderful secondary benefits that will come their way down the road. Happiness or specifically my happiness might be just a word at that point.
Or the secondary costs god forbid .....loss of time, attention and perhaps money. So in either case both would be unknown at that point....ala all about the person.
Sure after the fact it they'd have a benefit to point to but going in ...NOT so much.
By the way after I can figure out how to get 2 kids through college I want to race vintage race cars. Would it be wrong to ask them to team up to make poor old dad happy
As for your other problem ....Ive been around a long time and guys in love or want to display their love tend to move heaven and earth to show those things. He's to busy to make a phone call? I don't think ever in my truck or car and not be on the phone. Thank god for Bluetooth. So he couldn't take one night off from kink to reconnect with you...that's stunning.
He told me that he had mixed feelings about me moving there because he thought it increased the risk of his wife finding out about me. I kind of hit the roof in my response, because his sub is local, the other women he was seeing are local, and he still has a profile up on a dating site to meet whoever so how the fuck is all that okay but if I was local it would not be???
I'm staying with Pro...slick ...real slick.