Originally Posted by nycindie
My advice is to back away a little bit and slow down. Do not go and spend 14 days with her just yet. You are very conflicted about the relationship and need some space to process and resolve your issues. You are also still dealing emotionally with your divorce, which can take much longer than we realize (I speak from experience - it it often said to take two to three years to fully recover and feel stable again).
Her rule not to fall in love is something that I think really sucks and is kind of dictator-ish to say. Feh, fuck that. Red flag right there. You need to gain some equilibrium before moving forward, and see if this is what you really want.
You may want to visit a forum for LDRs (Long Distance Relationships). I know there is one at http://members.lovingfromadistance.com/forum.php
- but it is not poly-focused, so take that into consideration.
Thanks for your advice. I won't lie, I want my cake and eat it too. We have both canceled previous plans, one each, if I cancel this trip I think this might be it for us. Whatever "us" is. Of course, none of the previous two plans got this far, buying of planet tickets, hotels, etc.
I also get what you say about her saying "not to fall in love" but I'm actually pretty ok with this. More than ok actually. It's weird, I don't love her nor do I want to love her like that. I'm just sooooo enthralled and excited by her. It's pure lust. In reality, I could never be with someone like her. She's the most demanding and selfish person I've ever met.