Originally Posted by GalaGirl
You seem self aware enough then to know that all may not be how it FEELS.
So again -- wait. Let time do it's work. Hopefully you are managing your conditions appropriately and things will take an upswing.
Since CC is not worried about and has asked you to let him own his own emotional management? Try to BELIEVE him too. Just like BELIEVING Peaches.
What makes it hard to believe them? If it is something you can articulate then perhaps that can give you hints as to what you can change so that YOUR comfort and YOUR emotional management is better.
Dealing with borderline throughout the years has taught me take many times (most of the time, actually) things are not as bad as they seem and that negative thinking is a part of the disorder, not of my life. So I try to force myself into being aware of it. I am going throught therapy and learning how to get better. The moments when I snap and loose this awareness are becoming rare, I'm happy to say.
As for why I have such a hard time believing they both...
Peaches used to have a poly relationship before ours and it didn't work out at all for him. He wasn't ready for this kind of relationship then, but did compromise for her happiness. The girl had no regard for his feelings at all, he did end up very hurt. Even though he was the one to bring poly up in the first place, I often fear he just noticed I tend to fall in love with other people and is, again, sufocating how he really fells about it so I can be happy.
And CC, well. He had a lot of issues in the first few weeks. He didn't understand poly at all, and I'm still not sure he gets it now. We kind of broke up once after two weeks seeing each other because he was afraid of falling in love and never having a place in my life like Peaches do. He was also very unconfortable, believing that he was "doing something wrong". His belief that this is wrong is clearly "programmed" on his head, he does not believe it's wrong, but he can't help feeling judged. This makes me fear that if all the gossip gets worse, or if everyone else finds out all that is really happening, social pressure will lead to a definitive break up. I know that it'll do no good to try and shelter this relationship from everything - it's even worse, because one day the bomb drops. It's like over-protecting a child, who ends up spoiled and unable to live life on it's own. And I know it. Here I am doing it, though.