Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
When I meet someone I feel something that internally gauges whether I want to connect. I donít need to just because they are close to me. The person could be two feet from me all the time and if the energy isnít there I donít care. There are so many more people who have that something in them that I wonder why I would waste my time or energy trying to break down a brick wall. I look past it, walk around it and put it out of my mind.
I feel connection first and then look for common ground. I donít seek out common ground to form that connection.
How do I deal with someone who has very different views than my own?
I accept their opinions and if I feel connection I look for that common ground like a pig looking for trufflesÖ.
If I donít feel that connection or sense they intend on persisting on moot points of differenceÖ..I just donítÖ.I move on. There are way too many people in this world for me to get caught up on trying to connect with one of them unless there is that something about them. I donít feel the need.
Wow this resonated with me.
I used to be a "people pleaser" and wanted to be able to connect in some way with everyone. Perhaps not to the depth that you describe redpepper being, but close. I always felt I had to like and be liked by everyone or I was failing.
Recent changes in my life (in the last 3-4 years) have made me realize that when I'm not "forcing" myself, I'm much more like you, Mono. And accepting that has made me much more comfortable with myself. I don't have to connect with everyone and if I don't, then there's no need to push it. Not everyone is going to be buddies with everyone else and I'm ok with that. But it took me a long time to accept that in myself.