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Old 10-30-2012, 12:19 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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My advice is to back away a little bit and slow down. Do not go and spend 14 days with her just yet. You are very conflicted about the relationship and need some space to process and resolve your issues. You are also still dealing emotionally with your divorce, which can take much longer than we realize (I speak from experience - it it often said to take two to three years to fully recover and feel stable again).

Her rule not to fall in love is something that I think really sucks and is kind of dictator-ish to say. Feh, fuck that. Red flag right there. You need to gain some equilibrium before moving forward, and see if this is what you really want.

You may want to visit a forum for LDRs (Long Distance Relationships). I know there is one at http://members.lovingfromadistance.com/forum.php - but it is not poly-focused, so take that into consideration.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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