i still think that anonymous sex with a stranger who you don't expect to see again can be a form of poly if done within a poly relationship. i could be wrong but that's how i see it.
amongst my best friends are a gay male couple who have been together for about twenty years and who identify as polyamorous. one has had two "outside" lovers for several years now, which i guess everyone here would accept as poly quite easily. the other partner however tends to prefer his sexual activities outside the primary relationship to be anonymous - in saunas and at sex parties.
there was a time though, a few years back, when he started a relationship with someone he had met at a sauna. there is always that possibility, and both men accept that about the other's activities. either one could fall in love/get intimate with another, in theory, so whether or not that happens they identify as polyamorous.
i wonder if some on here would see the first man as being polyamorous, since he has maintained ongoing intimate relationships with three men over the last decade or so, but not see his primary partner as being polyamorous because his connections are much more "casual"? is he simply a swinger or a slut and not poly even though his partner is and he has the potential to be himself?
i hope i'm not labouring my point too much but to me their relationship with each other is polyamorous because they love each other dearly and are committed to supporting each others freedom to explore stuff with others, regardless of what form those explorations may take.
i am not looking to argue, but i am fascinated to discuss and to hear from others with different views. stretch my brain!
Last edited by dakid; 03-15-2010 at 09:52 PM.