After lying awake for hours one night thinking about my friend who's having the affair, I did tell my husband (without telling him who the guy is). I can't lie to him about the reason I'm up half the night!
I texted her to let her know we need to talk, without going into specifics. I need to tell her I told my husband. I also need to tell her a mutual friend is suspicious and sort of ' guessed' what's going on. It's been 3 days since I texted her and she hasn't replied.
Lies. I hate them. I've been thinking about it for days. Lies are really, really poisonous, it's like they touch everything and just turn all human relationships into slimy rotten stinky messes.
Ok, one more ugh! and now I'm done.
Am going to see C again tomorrow. I had a little break down this weekend when he went on an OKC date. We need to talk about rules and boundaries for our relationship - we've never really done that, and after 10 months, it's time.
I'm going to ask him not tell me before hand when he's going on a first date. Just fantasizing about it makes me so terribly anxious.
I want us both to be free yet committed to each other. Still thinking about what the rules and agreements should be about this. I go on dates sometimes, that never go beyond a bit of flirting and sometimes kissing. He's asked me not to talk about every single date, but to tell me when I feel something happens that would change things between me and him. But how am I to decide?
We seem to be in a kind of odd space where on the one hand things are developing towards a more serious and committed relationship (he's coming to stay the night in a couple of weeks, when my husband will also be home, he's giving me his key, etc) while on the other hand we are still very autonomous.
We email and text daily but lots of days we don't know what the other person is doing or who they're with. (The texts can be just to wish each other a nice day, say goodnight etc). So there's this constant back and forth between connection and freedom. I find it confusing, hopefully the talk tomorrow will help.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 years
Bo - BF of 1+ year
Lou & Jane - Ren's girlfriends
Lin - Bo's other GF