They all sound like assholes, to be honest. You shouldn't be disrespected and made to feel bad because it's not the kind of situation you want to be in. You are right in that poly is about much more than sex. <sigh> I don't know what else to say except to ask why you stay? Doesn't sound loving and nurturing to me.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein