New and confused
Hi everybody, been looking at this forum for some time now, getting the nerve to post. So here it goes. My bf and I moved in with with our "poly" couple about a year ago. Just as friends while the husband of the couple was deployed. A few months in the topic of poly came up and I agreed to try although not till the hubby came home from deployment to avoid any lopsidedness. During this time the wife and my bf started getting really close, I was the one working so they were home all day together that's when the twinges of jealousy started for me. They connected on so many levels that he could never with me. Fast forward to the hubby finally coming home and after a month I backed away from the poly letting them all know I felt sex was far too much of a focus for everyone. All I studied on poly was more than room switches and the men swapping stories. In all honesty I have little to no desire to sleep with anyone but my bf. Everyone aggreed (least they told me they did) to give me time. But the comments come out every few days...how I'm not interested in poly cuz I'm not ok with swapping that I want my relationship with my bf to be more solid before juggling more.....heck really I love these people and would do anything for them but I'm just not sexual parts of it and feel poly should be deeper. I'm beyond confused because at the same time it feels so unbalanced. I work most everyday and so does the hubby...leaving the wife and my bf to bond all day. My bf won't share or open up the way he does for her ani had whem I focus what few hrs I get off work on the bf I get to feel guilty because comments of how I'm not focused on them. I've tried talking to them and all of them say its just me and my jealousy and I'm being childish. I just don't know what to do.