Originally Posted by GalaGirl
Why a surprise? If you were feeling like she had trouble expressing love to you in the way your desire it? Why can't she feel you are not expressing love to her in the way SHE desires it?
If you guys want to be together -- gotta address this bit:
So much depends on communication. Also the bit about...
What makes her think she won't struggle to communicate with a new person?
Skip the affair. Have the divorce then if this relationship is not repairable or you have come to the end of the romance. CLEAN. So you have a chance at being good exes and friends without the emotional mess of an affair driving a wedge in there making co-parenting life hard.
It leads me to wonder if you guys are doing ok for emotional intimacy. Is that component strong?
I do not actually expect you to answer me. Just trying to give you some questions and talking points that could perhaps help when you talk to your wife.
Hang in there. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with on your plate right now.
I am really emotional right now, so what I type might not come out very clearly...
I have always wanted more intimacy than she has given me. I have a higher sex drive, and I am much more touchy feely than she is. So, no, our history is not the best when it comes to intimacy. There are several extenuating circumstances, but that's a short history.
The odd thing is that since we've been talking about this, we have actually been more intimate. I have been working on some of my issues, and she has been more attentive to me.