Thread: Soul Searching
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Old 10-28-2012, 02:14 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,279

It's funny in a way, because of the two of us, I am the extrovert social person. I have lots of great friendships that move me very deeply. They just aren't sexual. My wife is more of a home body, introverted, and in the past has had trouble expressing love to me the way I desire it. So the fact that SHE is the one that wants new relationships was very surprising to me.
Why a surprise? If you were feeling like she had trouble expressing love to you in the way your desire it? Why can't she feel you are not expressing love to her in the way SHE desires it?

If you guys want to be together -- gotta address this bit:

We try to communicate, we want to communicate, but I think we both struggle with it still.
So much depends on communication. Also the bit about...

my wife hasn't really been able to explain what she wants yet. Just that she wants to "explore" other relationships. She's feeling restless and confined.
What makes her think she won't struggle to communicate with a new person?

The other night, she said something to the effect of "I guess this is the point where a lot of people just have an affair and then get divorced."
Skip the affair. Have the divorce then if this relationship is not repairable or you have come to the end of the romance. CLEAN. So you have a chance at being good exes and friends without the emotional mess of an affair driving a wedge in there making co-parenting life hard.

It leads me to wonder if you guys are doing ok for emotional intimacy. Is that component strong?

I do not actually expect you to answer me. Just trying to give you some questions and talking points that could perhaps help when you talk to your wife.

Hang in there. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with on your plate right now.

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