Thread: Soul Searching
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Old 10-27-2012, 10:00 PM
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kboz2112 kboz2112 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: St. Louis, MO, USA
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Thanks GalaGirl. You raise a lot of great questions. It's a very long story that I don't have much time to get into, but my wife hasn't really been able to explain what she wants yet. Just that she wants to "explore" other relationships. She's feeling restless and confined. The other night, she said something to the effect of "I guess this is the point where a lot of people just have an affair and then get divorced."

We've had some issues in the past, and we are working on those. But I don't know if those issues have contributed to her desire to "explore" or not. We try to communicate, we want to communicate, but I think we both struggle with it still.

We are starting up with a "kink aware" marriage counselor on Monday. So hopefully we will get some guidance in open communication and trust building.

As for what I want... I would've been happy staying in a mono marriage the rest of my life, but I'd be lying if I said the idea of exploring new relationships didn't intrigue me on some level. So maybe I do have some poly in me? LOL... It's just hard to tell yet because all of this is still so new to me, and I do have jealousy and insecurity issues that I will have to learn to deal with.

As I picture us moving forward, I still can't picture separating over this. I still believe in Us, and I believe that she still loves me to the level that she can.

It's funny in a way, because of the two of us, I am the extrovert social person. I have lots of great friendships that move me very deeply. They just aren't sexual. My wife is more of a home body, introverted, and in the past has had trouble expressing love to me the way I desire it. So the fact that SHE is the one that wants new relationships was very surprising to me.
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