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Old 10-27-2012, 05:04 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,443

Originally Posted by Cleo View Post
She's asked me not to tell my husband (husband and I know her boyfriend well). I hate that there's something I can't tell my husband. I'm not going to because I want to respect this wish of hers.. but I think I do want to tell her that I don't want to socialize with them as a couple while this is going on.. ugh.

...Ugh, again.
Ugh indeed! I am sorry your friend has put you in this position.

I have made it known to my friends that I will never allow myself to be put in this position - and if they are truly my friend then they will never ask me to.

It's not that I turn around and report to MrS everything that is told to me (quite honestly, he is just usually not that interested), but if something came up in conversation on a given topic I don't want to have to filter out "secrets" - so don't tell me if it's a "secret".

Interestingly, MrS came to the same conclusion on his own behalf (it's not as though we have a "rule" about it or anything). I tell a story in my blog here about where he was on a trip with a friend who wanted to go to a strip club but didn't want his wife to know. MrS refused to go if it was supposed to be a "secret" - he wouldn't remember to not mention it to me if it came up, he knew that I wouldn't remember to not mention it to her if it came up - better not to even bother.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi married female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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