Redpepper, you are one busy lady! How do you possibly find all the time to do all (and everyone) that you do? I can identify with your deep poly relationship with "your men" as I have "my girls". However you seem to have varying levels of relationships going on in your life at any given time. This is bound to confuse some of your other friends and aquaintances, who seeing you being poly with "your men" naturally assume you are being poly with them or they are being poly with you since you are obviously poly.
I can see where boundaries and definitions could become blurred. Maybe the communication that needs to take place in our triads, also needs to take place amongst your casual friends too so that they are not expecting something else from you during your get togethers with them?