Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
If your husband has forgiven the cheating, do you think it's helpful for you to hold a grudge?
You don't have to like your husband's girlfriend, you don't have to spend time with her. But if you're going to expect your husband to approve of your boyfriend staying a night in your house, then it seems only right that he should have the same privilege. I'm big on "What's good for the goose is good for the gander," provided the goose and gander actually want the same thing.
Wanted to respond to this as well. I don't hold a grudge, but I've never really liked her, and the cheating part hasn't helped with that, and I don't want to share my space (and my bathroom) with someone I don't like.
Also, because I spend 1, sometimes 2, nights a week at my BF's house, she can spend those nights in my house with my husband - which is fine with me. And, because my husband often works from home, she sometimes comes by for lunch and I'm pretty sure a lot of those lunchdates stretch into afternoons in the bedroom... which is also fine with me, as long as I'm not there and as long as the house is tidy when I get home!
So these are all opportunities for my husband to spend time with his GF in our house that I don't have with my BF. And because my husband can't spend the night at her place, (roommate issues), I don't have the same privileges he has when it comes to having people spend the night. But on the other hand, I can stay at my BF's lovely house and take little minivacations there, which is something my husband can't do. So there is an imbalance already... and btw, my husband never even mentioned that he would want her to spend the night while I am home. I don't think he'd even want that, for fear of drama