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Old 10-26-2012, 08:03 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 477

Originally Posted by AggieSez View Post
Hi, Cleo

Just curious -- is this meeting only between you and your husband? Or will your other partners also be involved? It sounds like your additional relationships are pretty well established; they're not brand-new or casual. If you and your husband are basically negotiating aspects of your relationships that will directly affect your additional partners, it would be fair and respectful for them to have their own direct voice in those negotiations. It's their relationship, too.
we don't really do things that way... I talk to my BF about my needs and wants and his needs and wants in the relationship I have with him, and he trusts me to bring his needs and wants to the table when I talk to my husband, and my husband trusts me to 'represent' his needs and wants when I discuss things with my BF.

That said! we had the meeting and it was awesome!!!
We discussed all relationships that are currently going on in our poly configuration, including the ones that are nothing but potential relationships.
When we came to my relationship with C, I said "ok, I want you to think about something, you don't have to decide today, I would just like you to think about the possibility of C spending the night here when you are also home." I immediately made clear that it wasn't about sex, but about me wanting to spend time with C in my city, and that we would all sleep in different rooms, and that he would not hang around the whole day ater the visit. I was SO surprised but my husband said that he's willing to try it, and see how we all feel. "Let's experiment", is what he said, and that's much more than I'd hoped for
So, big success, and my BF was so happy about it, and we're planning the first sleep over soon.
So, this was another case of me being way too nervous for something that turned out to be relatively simple.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 years
Bo - BF of 1+ year
Lou & Jane - Ren's girlfriends
Lin - Bo's other GF
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