Originally Posted by SeventhCrow
There's absolutely nothing wrong with labels. Labels are nothing more than descriptions of what what's happening or what something is. Labels are not evil, little boxes that trap people--they provide important information.
Indeed, without having terms to describe things, we can't really discuss anything. And if folks try to stretch terms to cover more territory than those terms should cover, then we can't truly discuss anything because we'll have no damn clue what it is we should be discussing.
The question as to whether you do poly or not is simple: do you engage in multiple, loving, romantic relationships? If you do, then you are doing poly.
I know I'm cut out to do poly because I wondered why I was expected to have only one girlfriend from the moment I figured out girls were suddenly really attractive. For me, there was never any question of whether or not I wanted more than one relationship at a time. There was only a question of whether I would find partners who were also up for it.
I also do hetero romantic relationships. I self-describe as straight not because there's an evil, little, label box that I fell into and I have to conform to it, but because it describes accurately the fact that I don't find men attractive for romantic relationships. There are folks who self-describe as bisexual because they do both hetero- and homosexual relationships. There are folks who self-describe as gay/lesbian because they do homosexual relationships exclusively.
you have some really nice points.
I think maybe labeling just isnt for me as I can clearly put myself in any label. I'd like to one day to experience a romantic relationship with a woman, and a romantic relationship with more than one person, but I am not certain that either of those two things would work out successfully for me. I am okay with this though.
I read somewhere online, never to "try out" being poly for someoneone if your not poly. This really through me for a loop. Here I am 100% new to the idea of polyamory, how am I expected to know what I "am"? Is it unfair that I shouldnt be able to pursue a relationship with a poly man i adore, simply because I dont know exactly how to define myself? I think so.