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Old 12-17-2009, 11:01 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by glowinthedarkstars View Post
It must seem like I am very big on labeling by the sound of my posts,
I'm not really...I'm just struggling to understand something new and where I fit within it, in the scheme of things.

Grounded Spirit you are 100% right, I should have enough confidence in the fact that I am capable of loving and being loved and that I am open-minded individual.... to throw away these labels.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with labels. Labels are nothing more than descriptions of what what's happening or what something is. Labels are not evil, little boxes that trap people--they provide important information.

Indeed, without having terms to describe things, we can't really discuss anything. And if folks try to stretch terms to cover more territory than those terms should cover, then we can't truly discuss anything because we'll have no damn clue what it is we should be discussing.

The question as to whether you do poly or not is simple: do you engage in multiple, loving, romantic relationships? If you do, then you are doing poly.

I know I'm cut out to do poly because I wondered why I was expected to have only one girlfriend from the moment I figured out girls were suddenly really attractive. For me, there was never any question of whether or not I wanted more than one relationship at a time. There was only a question of whether I would find partners who were also up for it.

I also do hetero romantic relationships. I self-describe as straight not because there's an evil, little, label box that I fell into and I have to conform to it, but because it describes accurately the fact that I don't find men attractive for romantic relationships. There are folks who self-describe as bisexual because they do both hetero- and homosexual relationships. There are folks who self-describe as gay/lesbian because they do homosexual relationships exclusively.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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