Originally Posted by Lydia1
That's exactly where my thoughts are going, BoringGuy. :-/ I've expressed my feelings to John, and he says I'm being pessimistic. I think I'm just being realistic. I don't see a way out of this that isn't horrible.
I know you love your husband and have had a good relationship until now, but from what I am reading, it sounds like he's using verbal manipulation on you to get what he wants. It sounds like he wants it HIS way - to be married to you and be able to have a "full poly" relationship with Sarah - even if that means you would be miserable. It seems as though he's rather be with sarah AND a miserable you, instead of being without Sarah and having a happy you, or being without you and knowing that you are free to pursue happiness with someone else, as he is doing.
I am DEFINITELY making a lot of assumptions when coming up with these insights. I believe this thread/your story has reached the point where John (and Sarah) needs to come on here and tell his (and her) side of the story before anyone can give any more advice that would be useful and accurate.