I am someone that gets a lot out of being face to face with people - I can "read" them (although that sounds terribly analytic). I don't really want the pressure of meeting up with someone with an expectation that sparks will fly - it feels too forced to me. I would much rather have a social expectation - that we're going to go out and hang out together and see if even a friendship can develop, let alone anything else.
The best thing is to get involved with a local poly group - go to their dinners, and meet-ups. Even if there's nobody suitable there the first time, you have at least got to know a few more poly folk and can exchange "war stories". In that sort of environment it's easier to meet folks without that sense of pressure.
Please check out The Birdcage - an open, friendly Polyamory forum for all parts of New York State
"Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." - Native American Proverb