Thanks for your thoughts
It was great to go through your rule book... and the point system is very clear.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.
I am really doubting... but with emotions still so high, and being in a foreign country, I am going to work through stuff before deciding. And I figure that what ever my decision is, that we have spent enough time before this as good friends... that we can both take some learning from the situation.
It has been such a curve ball as we had been planning on starting a family next year, and I know now that I cant rely on him to consider my emotional and physical health and safety, I am really at a crossroads of - OMG!! I had a plan, what happened to my plan..... That is certainly off the books now.
He isn't the person I had convinced myself he was. I think I had been fooling myself the whole time.
I find myself pulling away more and more, and as I do so he is more and more desperate for reassurance, and I have none to give.
He has just recently publicly appologised to all of our friends, and the project team for his actions, which I didn't really expect.
I guess if I had been behaved that way - it would have been because I was going in for the "I dont respect you, and am a chicken" relationship ender. So really trying to get it from his point of view.... And even if this is the end, I dont want it to end it the bad state of affairs that it is in right now.
< Sigh >
At least I now I have reached out and have a community to talk to.
Which I appreciate.