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Old 10-25-2012, 01:51 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 6,033

The best decisions are made with head and heart together.

And you basically answered yourself:

I like my life as it is, with the freedom to see people whenever we want, and I don't really want to make an extra effort for someone I care about but not so much after all.
You are not a mean person to want other things from your dating life than this.

Andi sounds like a high maintenance thing that frankly, I would not care to do. It starts to wander into emotionally manipulative/weird.
  • Not caring appropriately for his health. Being all negative and turning into a huge emotional drain on you? How's that fun for you?
  • Calling you insulting names at that one break up and he never wants to see you again, calling your open relationships a "fuck heirarchy?" This is respectful talk toward you how?
  • Then disappearing and causing you emotional worry? This is respectful how?
  • Then expecting mind readering and not willing to give clear answers -- this is helpful communication in relationship how?

This is all a drag. Why sign up for more of this? You have broken up with him before because of negativity and just ugh. So go with your initial first call -- this is not a guy for you. You may have fun dates in a while but in general? The price of admission is just a pain in the butt. So do not bother any more.

So my dilemma is: should I follow my heart, or my logic? The logic also says that if I have to "force" myself to be with Andi although I'd rather be with someone else, then it's not really worth trying. But the logic also tells me it's just NRE and it will go away and then I'll want to be with Andi more.
Second part is faulty logic. Not necessarily -- it could be NRE with CG and TKO respectively. That's other relationships. Nothing to do with Andi. And you could want to be with them STILL after a year! Or want to be with someone else entirely! Time will tell on those fronts. Still nothing to do with Andi.

But on the Andi side? The NRE wore off with Andi. And left you where? A year of yucky having to deal with his negative attitude and his ugh. Again... why sign up for MORE of that? Sounds like a pain. And your logic is already telling you that you have to "force" yourself to find reasons to be enthusiastic to be with him. It is not selfish to want a smoother, better dating life for yourself where things are not forced.

The best thing for Andi would be for me to tell him that he's better off with someone else who doesn't treat him like I do. I know I don't give him priority, because honestly why should I? I have more fun with the others. But that's unfair toward him.
You sound happier dating TKO and CG. You do not sound happy dating Andi. Stop dating Andi. Let Andi deal with himself. You have tested it out and tried it several times to make it fly -- it does not fly. Accept it.

How is that unfair to Andi? It's just not a match up here. That's what dating is FOR. To find the matches you ENJOY keeping company with. I find it odd that you phrase it that way rather than "The best thing for ME is to leave Andi because he's a drain on me and I don't especially enjoy his company."

My 2 cents,

Last edited by GalaGirl; 10-25-2012 at 02:07 PM.
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