Originally Posted by lolita
We are communicating, but talking with him is different than talking with people that have been, or are in my situation. Which is why I am here.
Slowly...how long does it take to adjust to this?
Differs from person to person, like most everything on relationships. Sadly, there's no "rule".
Peaches seemed to adjust to this in less than an hour. I got a little bit of competitive jaleousy from him, but nothing that was harmfull to the relationship or even bothered me at all. Me, It took me a few weeks to warp my head around the idea that MAYBE he would be someone else. This with me being poly too, and sharing his views and feelings. Terrified me at first.
CC, my new partner, needs to take things slowly. It's been trhee months into our relationship now, and we're still adjusting, he's still getting over jaleousy and feelings of being "the second" or of intruding on my relationship with Peaches somehow.
If you're comunicating, and you're willing to make this work, you'll get though this. And you'll be through a lot of insecurity and jaleousy that was part of you. Think of it as self-improovment. Helped me a lot to think I'd be a more confident, independent person after I dealt with my insecurities. The relationship working out in the process was a lovely bonus, and a sure thing to happen when both people are happy with themselfs.
And as for wanting to know about everything, I have this little perk too. ^^ I must confess I feel safer if I know what's going on, since I have a WILD imagination. Peaches, on the other hand, likes to hear me describe my dates, but it's not a necessity to him. He says i'm entitled to my privacy if needed be. (He's just awesome. I don't know how he does that.)
So again, no rules. Whatever makes you feel better.
Best of luck to you,